My name is Krista, and I am Noorish Yogi. Curiosity more than anything else brought me to Amanda Ings last workshops in October of 2016 on Inner Alchemy. I read the blog post on her upcoming talk and wanted to know more. As an active yogi, I was intrigued by the concept of moving through emotions using tantric yoga. I had very little experience with Tantra, only having taken one or two tantra classes in 10 years of practise. My experience was transformative.
I had been struggling a lot over the summer. I was overworked (self-inflicted) uncertain of my own abilities and being pushed to use them all the time. I was given opportunities I didn’t feel like I could live up to and I never felt like I have the time to sort my head out. Any free time I had I drank heavily, leaving me hung over the next day, either having to work through it or wasting the precious little free time I had. I was working in a toxic environment, and couldn’t see it, and making enemies out of friends. In short, I was acting very out of character. I didn’t recognize myself, and I certainly didn’t like myself.
And then we talked about Air. I only managed to book myself in the first day of the three-day weekend. Amanda talked about the nature of the element and as a class, we pulled together a list of traits we might associate with the element. We imagined the mind sucking things into its vortex and rotating and rotating through them, or ruminating as a physiologist might put it. We attributed obsessiveness, paranoia suspicion and betrayal to air. We asked the question, how does Air define itself. I felt instantly exposed and called out. It took my breath away. This shadow self she was describing was the me I was witnessing running my life, out of my control. It was all my shame, summed up and attributed to something as ubiquitous as air.
Then she called my inner demon out from the shadows of my heart. She said air was poisoned by jealousy because it feared destructions. She said the nectar was trust and the wisdom was accomplishment. I was spinning around so quickly I couldn’t see what I needed, what was wrong. I didn’t know what movement to make, I was fearful of making a mistake, I loathed any criticism. All of this was obstructing from my view my need to feel accomplished. A deficit that had been building within me for some time. Now that I have moved through the eye of the tornado I find that I trust more deeply everyone who saw me through that time.
I often wonder if I would have found my way out of the tornado quicker if I had attended the rest of the workshop, in fact I know I would have. Identifying the problem was a total revelation for me. The road out of depression still took another two months but Amanda helped set my course, pulled me out of the tornado. Soon after I quit my toxic work environment, and I have been working on goals and the steps needed to feel accomplished, I see myself reacting in jealous ways and breath into that, and talk myself into a space of gratitude.
Knowing Amanda is back in town is very exciting. I am delighted to have her around to help our community transform through their own evolutions. The value I got out of a single class was invaluable I cannot imagine the possibilities from a multiple weekend workshop.
Please join us and Cultivate Mental clarity with Amanda Ings